99 Logos and a Bitch, Each One

Japan Next Logo

Well, there it is, Japan’s new logo “to be used by Japanese agencies and corporations around the world to promote Japanese culture embodying the idea of Cool Japan.”  After reviewing some 99 entries, the pencil pushing desk jockeys on the Committee to Waste Japan’s Time finally waded thru the apparent complete dearth of ideas and creativity to select this stunning little piece on my left here, courtesy of Kashiwa Sato (whose site melts my fucking brain). Mr. Saito obviously took his inspiration from looking in the mirror every day:

Kashiwa Sato is Japan NextWhile the mind boggles at how there could have been 99 entries worse than this one, I’m willing to roll with it if we perhaps fine tune what we’ve already got. As such, let me propose a few edits and recommendations:

Japan Next Anime Hair


If you want to use your “Cool Japan” or “Japan Next” logo to promote wacky Japanese culture and you’re not going to use school girls and tentacle rape, you might as well give your logo some cool anime spikey hair. Just a slight turn, as seen on the right here, takes Sato’s logo from ungodly conventional and pedestrian to “the Naruto of shitty logos.” You could even put one of those toilet bowl swirlies in the middle of it to make anime fans all cream their pants.

ADDED BONUS: The logo highlights the one disaster that hasn’t destroyed Japan this past year. Japan has not been bombarded with meteors or asteroids……….yet………..

Japan Next Logo Backwards


On the left, you’ll see an edit to Satos’s logo that more adequately reflects Japanese aesthetics.  I was wondering why the initial logo reflected a Western “left to right” model of forward progression when the majority of Japanese books, magazines, manga, and other materials tend to start from the right and progress to the left.

ADDED BONUS: For Western eyes, this logo better explains the actual progession of the Japanese political system and economy.

Japan is Melting


Finally, on the right, I believe we have the best possible way to sell Sato’s yawn-inducing logo and assure that it brings peoples’ thoughts back to Japan.

This logo will let the world know that despite being forgotten by the entire media of the world, Japan isn’t going anywhere “Next” at this moment, still dealing with a MASSIVE NUCLEAR WASTELAND, giant cleanup, destroyed industries, corrupt corporations still fucking the populace, an inept government, stale economy, apathetic people, and a complete and utter loss in prominence of all the stuff they try to sell to the world as “Cool Japan.”

RANDOM ASIDE: During the creation of #Quakebook there was a great deal of Western-guilt debate on using the Japanese “Rising Sun” icon in any other way than in its original form, for fear of offending the Japanese people, to the point where logos for the book were rearranged and reworked. I suppose this was all silly Western political correctness, as it’s readily apparent that the J-gov couldn’t give too fucks about mucking around with their countries symbology.

Maybe it only hurts when foreigners do it.

As a final note, my favorite logo idea can be found here at Politicomix, which would scare the the Dukboki straight out of Korea and their completely irrational fear of “Fan Death.” That’s a ballsy stance I could really get behind.


Craig is currently a freelance writer whose works appear on his two blogs (here and here), as well as occasional pieces on Japan and ESL for Language House. He fashions himself as something of a humorist, with a passion for social media, international politics, technology, beer, Asia, New Jersey, the Pacific Northwest (Seattle-ish), puppies, both Footballs, and pizza. He can be found ranting about all of the above and more via Google+ and Twitter.

2 responses to “99 Logos and a Bitch, Each One

  1. Pingback: New Blog – Smashed and Sinking | THE JAPAN BLOG DIRECTORY

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