Tag Archives: Conbini

What a Coincidence, They Call Me Mr. Brain too!


Like with me, I guessing it’s not cause of your amazing capacity for knowledge and learning. Hell yeah (Meta High-Five)! Let’s go kick Mr. Children‘s ass!

Posted by ShoZu

Good Thing They Finally Invented Products For Reverse Homosexuals!

Reclaiming Rainbows for the Straight!!!

Reclaiming Rainbows for the Straight!!!

I moved to Japan over three years ago.  When I first came here I was really surprised at the lack of products here for heterosexuals. I found myself staring straight into the eyes of gay beer, gay takoyaki, gay toilet paper and other various products designed solely with homosexuals in mind.

I was a bit distraught at first, but after a while I encountered those ever-present ex-pats that were obsessed with the culture and recommended I dive right in. I was hesitant at first, but I just slowly repeated to myself “When in Rome…When in Rome…” and before you know it, I was all up in it, sucking down octopus balls like it was my destiny.

I drank gay beer like a rebel without a cause, I swallowed gay beefsteak at the local yakiniku like it was my job.

Three years in and I’ve continued to consume gay products with reckless abandon…

In this time, I nearly forgot there were products for the straight-minded consumers, so lost in a world of gayness was I.

But now Japan has recognized the rights of the straight consumer.

I’ve now been allowed to come out of the reverse closest as a true heterosexual, drinking my straight beer, eating my hetero burgers of not-gayness.

As the veil lifts from my eyes, the cloud of gayness removed, I can now indulge myself in true hetero products for the demanding heterosexual consumer:

Lets people know you won't be sucking no dick tonight, even at 6% alc a pop, cause you like vagina dammit!

Lets people know you won't be sucking no dick tonight, even at 6% alc a pop, cause you like vagina dammit!

I like my meat hetero, thank you. Supersize the not-gay!

I like my meat hetero, thank you. Supersize the not-gay!

The Age of Enlightenment has begun!

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Now the Japanese can finally indulge in products that cater to their refined non-gay tastes. After all, the only fags in Japan are on TV!

Anyone else enjoying this straight revolution?