I Brush My Teeth with EggPlants, Maybe Squid Ink

A smile not even a mother could love...

A smile not even a mother could love...

I’ve lived in Japan for about three and a half years now. I find that there’s very little I need to get from overseas beyond constantly asking people to bring/send spices and hot sauce and perhaps deodorant. They both seem like things that many Japanese people just aren’t very big fans of.

There’s also one more thing that I’m always trying to get from back home, and that’s toothpaste. I like the taste of my American Toothpaste, and in my travels, the Europaste and Japanpaste I’ve come across always tastes like licorice or something equally as horrible.

The other day I ran out of my favorite Arm and Hammer Baking Soda Toothpaste. While I wait for a new tube or two, I asked the girlfriend if she could pick me up a tube of something she’d recommend.

It looked harmless enough…

...Well, it says Tooth Paste

...Well, it says Toothpaste...or tooth paste..

…And whereas I might normally be a bit wary to put a random cream in my mouth in a foreign land, I can rest assured that it’s toothpaste cause it says so in English.

I twist off the top, all excited to dive into my new Japanese Toothpaste and squirt out a bit onto the brush.

Indigo Black?

Indigo Black?

I expect a nice cylinder of white to emerge from the tube, but instead, an inky black substance crawls out  onto my brush. I think I might possibly be able to tattoo someone with this toothpaste.

But I’m a trooper, so I dive right in.

I'll put most anything in my mouth apparently

I'll put most anything in my mouth apparently

The taste can be described with the word ‘ocean.’  If you’ve ever been hit with a wave and had a load of sea water shoved down your gullet, it’s quite similar. It also makes me look like an extra from either a zombie movie or an X-files episode.

brushing9brushing6

brushing5blackgoo2

Now I’m not sure who designs products in Japan, but I’m somewhat certain that if I was a boss in Japan and one of my underlings came to me with the idea for a product that possibly cleans teeth but tastes like ocean water and leaves your mouth looking like an elderly Vietnamese berry chewing lady, I might pass on that idea.

But hey, what do I know?

My girlfriend tells me there might be eggplant skins in the toothpaste. I’m not sure why this would be necessary. To me, it looks more like squid ink or just pain writing ink.

I can now teach my students “This is a pen” along with “This is what happens when I eat a pen.”

Anyone out there have any more info on this wacky toothpaste?

(Update: Added a link to a picture of a Vietnamese berry chewing lady above, for those that were wondering. Also, I found a link with more info here. Apparently, beyond being made from eggplants, I can also use it in a pinch to put on “external wounds.” If I can light fires with it, I can take it into the wild as a survivor man tool)

About these ads

8 responses to “I Brush My Teeth with EggPlants, Maybe Squid Ink

  1. I think that’d work pretty well for a cheap special effect in an amateur zombie movie. *thumbs up*

  2. Yeah, if anyone needs any outside Japan, would be happy to send some to an aspiring zombie film maker! It least your breathe salty and clean…maybe….

  3. Pingback: The Week in Review (6/21/09) « Smashed and Sinking!!!

  4. Pingback: Getting a Teaching Job in Japan (Part 5: Preparations and Arrival) « Smashed and Sinking!!!

  5. Hey hun, great site! I really treasure this article.. I was wondering about this for a long time now. This cleared a lot up for me! Do you have a rss feed that I can add?

  6. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

    looks cool!

  7. That addition will complete my whole zombie look for this year’s Halloween! I kinda expected this from them, but I’ve seen far worse pastes from outside Japan. There are Bacon pastes from the US, Chocolate toothpastes from somewhere in South-East Asia, and a herbal paste from Thailand that literally looks like crap!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s